Looking Back

As we enter into the last day of classes, right before we (Hope students) hit exam week, I have had a moment to breathe and thus this thought has hit me: “This semester, my 3rd semester in college, is coming to end.” What?!?! Wasn’t it just the other day that I got here as part of the orientation staff? How can this be? What have I even done? What have I accomplished? I realize though, that I have done a lot and accomplished stuff along the way. In this realization, I ask myself the question that I believe is a vital question in life: “What have I learned from this past time period?”

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Well I have learned a lot of things, but the things that stick at to me the most is what I have learned about myself. I’ve said it before, and I will say it again: So much of college is self-discovery. I thought I learned it all my freshman year; what else more to me was there to know? Maybe in a stagnant world, that would be true, but the world I live in is ever changing, so there is always something new for me to learn about myself. So what have I learned about myself this semester? Many things, but here are a few:

1). There is such a thing as being too busy. If you haven’t noticed, I love to stay busy with everything that I do and everything that I am involved with. Well, that “business” caught up to me this year. I know I am a being that easily gets restless, so staying busy is good for me. It is not good for me when I don’t have enough time to bring my soul to rest. When I am not able to do the things that I need in my life such as prayer time, exercise, true intentional time with others, then I become over-worn. That state of mind does not put me in a good place. Instead of business putting me in a good place, it can take over like a disease and really affect me. There is such a thing as being too busy.

2). The nature of doubt. I have gone through a lot  with doubt this semester, specifically speaking, with my faith life. I never disbelieved that Jesus was the Son of God and that He loved me and everybody, but everything in between that was very cloudy and unsteady. At first I had a lot of anxiety that I was so doubtful, but over time I came to embrace it and then discovered so much more about it. I discovered that I am a person whose faith is founded on doubt. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. When I hear something, my first reaction is to question it, and thus begin a path to self learning and discovery. That can help me deeper enrich my faith. But you know what? It can be a bad thing, and I let it be that in my life. I was so full of doubt and so quick to do it, that I allowed no opportunity for something to make an impact. My doubt my me so closed hearted and unwilling to change. I let the doubt take control. But what I needed to do was learn to doubt my doubts. The nature of doubt is complex and beautiful, but it can become something that holds me down; it is a fine fine line.

3). It may be cliché, but… #blessed. Yep. I said it. I am so fortunate to go to the school that I go to, to have the friends and community that I have, and to constantly be swarmed with endless fulfilling opportunities. Though I can say this semester has had its challenges as it sometimes took a lot out of me as I was discovering “me,” I can by no means forget the blessings that have happened as well. Thank you, God, for this place and the people.


For more about me, follow me on twitter @hopejohnluke17 or on Instagram at johnlukehawkins. Until next time!

Fall Break

I’m so glad to be on Fall Break. School has been so hectic, and being away from school is just what I needed. When I came home last Friday for break, I went to my mom’s new café she opened up (her actual opening day was on Saturday). I was so shocked to see how quaint it was. It’s in a little town outside of Traverse City, called Kingsley. The community is tight-knit and welcoming. I’m very glad this is where she put it.

ANYWAY, I started working for her that Friday getting things prepared and ready for the opening day. And guess what, MY BESTIE AMANDA also worked! Vee (my mama) loves her. She’s the Caucasian daughter she’s never had. Anyways, we worked on publicity and logistical needs for her café. We even made this menu. It took us a while!

This menu literally took us forever.
This menu literally took us forever.

As you can see, she was working hard.

Working hard, or hardly working?
Working hard, or hardly working?

On Saturday, Amanda and I reported for duty at 7:00 AM. That’s early, we know, but we were getting paid! It was so cool to see the community and my mom’s friends and family come together to support her. She was SO excited. She’s always wanted a little café, and she worked hard to get it! Here are some pictures from opening day!

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Practically, I’ve been working for my mom and studying during fall break. I have to study for my first standardized nursing test! It just shows how ready I would be regarding Psychiatric Mental Health Nursing. I’m nervous for this exam, but I’m studying hard! I’ll keep you all posted about the rest of my fall break and what’s coming up this week.

IMPORTANT LINKS:

Amanda’s Twitter: HERE | My Twitter: HERE | My mom’s Facebook page for her café: HERE. Make sure you like her page too! 🙂