Almost three years ago, I was preparing for a journey that would change my life in ways I couldn’t yet comprehend. At 17, fresh out of my junior year in high school, I was preparing to leave Afghanistan for the United States. I didn’t even know where my new school was located, nor what life in America would be like. But as I sat on that plane, enduring nearly 20 hours of travel from Central Asia to New York City, I knew that I was embarking on something that would shape my future.
Now, with two and a half years behind me in the United States, I reflect on those early days and how overwhelming it all was. To think that I didn’t know where my school was at the time feels surreal to me now. But this was just one of many unknowns I faced. I am Hajar Ahmadi, born and raised in Pakistan, yet deeply tied to Afghanistan, my homeland. My family, large and full of love, raised me with the values of both cultures. We shared our home with my sisters, my grandparents from both sides and my uncles and aunties. It was a lively environment, and I grew up loving kids, surrounded by their energy and joy. I also nurtured a love for history, often reading books about how different countries evolved and how humanity has developed over time.
Moving to the U.S. presented more challenges than I could have anticipated. But over time, I have learned much—not only about this new country but also about myself and my ability to adapt.
A Leap into the Unknown
Leaving Afghanistan for the U.S. felt like stepping into an abyss. I had never been this far from home before, and I had no clear image of what awaited me. When my boarding school picked me up at the airport, I remember wondering where I was going. It felt surreal. Everything was new—the language, the people, the customs, and the school system. I felt like I was on another planet. After spending years growing up in Afghanistan and Pakistan, places where my family and heritage were familiar, it was a massive shock to navigate this new world without the safety net of familiarity.
My transition was not just geographical. I had to adjust to a new culture and educational system. Back home, making friends was simple—I would sit next to someone, strike up a conversation, and soon we’d be friends for life. It was almost effortless. But here, it felt much more complicated. In high school, we didn’t have assigned seats that lasted for the whole year, and classes changed regularly. It became a struggle to get to know people. Friendships didn’t form as naturally as they had back home, where everyone shared a similar cultural background, and connections felt more immediate.
Navigating Culture Shock
One of the most striking things about my move was the culture shock. The everyday things—greeting people, the way classes were structured, and even how people made friends—were different. I struggled to adjust to the fast-paced nature of school life in the U.S. Back home, I was used to building deeper relationships over time, whether with friends or teachers. In the U.S., there was a constant sense of movement. My peers were busy changing classrooms every period, and with it, their focus shifted. I found myself feeling unanchored, longing for the sense of belonging that I had taken for granted back home.
During my junior year of high school, I often thought about how different my life had become. Making friends was not as easy as it had been. Back home, relationships were more fluid; a simple seating choice in class could lead to lifelong friendships. But here, that familiarity was missing. Each day was a new seat and a new set of people, and I didn’t have the consistency that made it easy to bond.
College and Finding My Way
Thankfully, Hope College has provided some relief. When I first started college, the international orientation did something that made a huge difference for international students like me: they allowed us to come to campus one week earlier than everyone else. We went on a three-day trip, where we got to meet others who were just as new and unsure as I was. It was a small thing, but it made all the difference in the world. It helped me form connections without the chaos of regular school life, and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t feel so lost. It was a way to find my bearings without becoming overwhelmed.
This trip was more than just a social event—it was a lifeline. It was a structured, intentional way for us to meet people and build friendships. It reminded me of my earlier experiences back home when forming friendships was straightforward, almost instinctual. The trip gave me the space and time to connect with others and to feel like I wasn’t alone in this new chapter of my life.
Reflections on Change and Growth
As I reflect on the last two and a half years, I realize how much I’ve grown. The challenges I faced when I first moved to the U.S. were daunting, but they’ve made me stronger. Moving here at 17, as a junior in high school, was a pivotal moment. It was a time when I was supposed to be finding myself, yet I felt like I was losing touch with the person I had always been.
But through the struggle, I learned more than I ever thought possible. I learned the importance of patience, and of giving myself time to adjust. I learned that it’s okay to feel out of place sometimes—that’s part of the process of finding your way in a new environment. And most importantly, I learned that I am resilient. I can adapt to new challenges, even when they seem insurmountable at first.
Being in the U.S. has also taught me how different my life is from those around me. Many of my peers grew up in stable environments, surrounded by the same people for most of their lives. I’ve had the opposite experience. I moved from Pakistan to Afghanistan, and now to America. Each move brought its own set of challenges, but it also gave me a unique perspective on life.
Looking Ahead
Now that I’ve spent two and a half years in the U.S., I look forward to what’s next. I no longer feel the same sense of anxiety I did when I first arrived. I’ve learned to navigate the cultural differences, and I’ve even come to appreciate the diversity of experiences I’ve had. I’m not the same person I was when I first left Afghanistan. I’ve grown, I’ve adapted, and I’ve learned.
My journey isn’t over. I know there will be more challenges ahead, but I’m ready for them. I carry with me the lessons I’ve learned from my family, from my time in Pakistan and Afghanistan, and from my experiences here in the U.S. Those lessons will continue to guide me as I move forward, both in my academic journey and in my personal life.
Looking back, it’s hard to believe how far I’ve come. From a girl who didn’t know where her school was when she first arrived at the airport in New York, to someone who has found her way in a new country, I’m proud of the person I’ve become. The journey hasn’t been easy, but it has been worth it.
