“Take what’s dead, and make it come back to life.”
Back home in Iowa, the week before finals is what many schools call “Dead Week.” This is because while you’re studying for your cumulative exams for 4 classes, you’re also writing three 5-page research papers, eating food, socializing for 10 minutes a day, and sleeping for a total of never (that’s an exaggeration, but you can catch my drift.)
Monday night, I was feeling its implications.
Four folders, a binder, four notebooks, 18 credits, three jobs. A laptop. A backpack that I’m pretty sure might break after Friday. Two outfits a day, one for business meetings, another for homework. Three outfits if I somehow find the time and motivation to exercise.
This is the week before finals.
And I’m okay with that today, even though I wasn’t a few days ago. I was overwhelmed, running from place to place, pulling three nights of 2-4 hours of sleep, looking exhausted 98.7% of the time, and chugging Emergen-C every four hours to ensure my immune system could keep up.
Worst of all, I was not staying present. At all.
On Monday night at 3 AM, I was planning what homework I would be doing on Tuesday night at 4:30 AM. What I would eat for lunch on Wednesday. When I would be able to drink Lemonjello’s Fireside Latte (SO GOOD, it’s made with maple syrup and cinnamon) on Thursday.
I was slipping. My heart raced, my brain leapt from thought to thought, and my eyes were closing – sleep was so close, yet so far away.
Then, I heard a voice speak. It came, cool like water, raining down on me.
“Slow down,” it whispered. “Rest. I delight in you, and all that you have accomplished. You have done so much, and are about to do so much more.”
I looked around the empty room. There was so much space. So much air flowing, waiting, floating around me. I had been suffocating in a room of oxygen.
I drew in a breath and my shoulders relaxed. I blinked twice, adjusting to the dim florescent light of the room.
My heart was full, my brain steadied, and my eyes were opened. At once, I knew. I knew that I would be okay. Instead of being overwhelmed, I was overflowing with grace.
“He brought me out into a spacious place; he rescued me because he delighted in me.” -Psalm 18:19
I was no longer trapped in the prison I had made for myself, but instead welcomed into a space without borders. It is true, we have much to accomplish, and little time to do so. But He knows that. And when we stand in the presence of the Author of Time, there is no need to rush. He rescues in His delight. He brings the dead back to life.
How is your week before finals treating you? Give me a heads up @hopesophie17. Questions or Comments? Post below or send me an email at sophie.guetzko@hope.edu.