“I wish I could do college without the academic part” is something I often find myself saying or thinking. I am not naturally a learner; I don’t enjoy doing research. School doesn’t naturally come to me – I have to work hard at it to be successful. Due to that, unlike my other activities and clubs, school drains me physically and mentally. The amount of effort I have to put forward exhausts me. It exhausts me to such a point that it is hard for me to find joy in the fact that I am doing schooling. The lack of joy makes me ponder whether I even want to do school… I actually consider dropping out of college. What always ends up keeping me enrolled is the clubs and organizations that I am involved in that I love and have grown and am growing so much from, the friends that I love who play a huge role in my life, or just the simple fact that I need a degree and I need to do well in order for me to be be successful post college and then adequately be a steward of my gifts.
You know what though, none of those motivations help me find any joy in the fact of me being a student. They just make me trudge the swamp of having to be a student. That is not what I want, not even a tiny bit. I know it is a blessing and a privilege that I have the opportunity to be getting an education, thus I want to be able to acknowledge that I am getting something from it.
And that acknowledgement has come. I was able to take some time at this end of the week and journal about all of this. In that time of reflecting and writing, I decided to take the time and look at all my classes that I have taken while I was a Hope student and write down what impacting thing I have learned from them. In doing that I was able to see that each of my classes have helped play a role in shaping how I think, how I act, and the man I am today. So with that new found knowledge, I want to make that my motivation in not dropping out of school and in having motivation for doing my schooling: I may not enjoy each class I take and the work that goes along with it, but with each class I take, I have the opportunity and often the benefit of gaining something to make myself a better human being.
For more about me, follow me on twitter @hopejohnluke17 or on Instagram at johnlukehawkins. If you have a question you can email me at john.hawkins@hope.edu. Until next time!