“Wait a minute, you’re scared!” my friend proclaimed.
“Correction, I’m absolutely terrified,” I laughed with a look of panic in my eye.
This exchange happened no earlier than a week ago and while I have managed to calm myself down, my wariness remains. In T-24 hours I embark on my semester abroad in Oaxaca, Mexico with SIT for a program focusing on Borders, Migration, and Transnational Communities. In all honesty, I have been at a loss for words to describe everything I feel. After all, this is an experience I have been waiting for my entire college experience. However, that all changed when I came across a curious little chipmunk during a walk through Centennial Park.
Not to sound like I am living a Disney movie, but I feel like this chipmunk (metaphorically, that is…). Through careful observation, the chipmunk acted both cautious & curious, almost paralyzed, taking in its newfound surroundings. Once it determined the large looming threat (aka me) wasn’t as scary as initially thought, it visually relaxed continuing about its business. Despite what it had come to know, the presumptions about the human did not seem to add up.
This is me, except in my case the looming threat is not a human, but rather the thought of studying in Mexico. There are simply too many “what ifs?” swirling around in my head. What if I misinterpret a situation and make a fool of myself? What if having all of my classes in Spanish overwhelms me? What if my host family doesn’t like me? What if I catch Covid? What if, what if, what if…? This paralysis (for lack of a better word) of “what ifs?” and presumptions held me in a headspace of avoidance for a long time. However, as I started tackling the big items on my to-do list, such as packing for 3.5 months (not an easy task), my mind began to calm down.
In fact, a couple of days ago I received an email with a welcome letter from my host family, a lovely woman I will refer to as Dee. In response, all of my worrisome “what ifs?” started shifting. What if Dee teaches me to make the most incredible food? What if I find a bit of home in Oaxaca? Much like that little chipmunk in Centennial Park, my large looming threat is looking a lot less daunting.
I have no clue what the next few months will have in store for me, but I’m excited to see where they take me. Make sure to hit the “subscribe” button on the bottom of this page to follow along with the “Adventures of Sarah & Dee” and all the other amazing humans I meet along the way. I can’t wait to share them with you!
P.S. Fully anticipate more nature-themed metaphors as I continue to blog about Mexico, it’s who I am.