The Kaptur family, after Hope Convocation in 2023
I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable. This had been the plan since they were born, right? I knew they needed to live away from home to succeed, to fail, and to trust themselves in a safe environment. So why was this so difficult? Plain and simple, I loved the young adults my kids had become, and I knew that first semester of college would be rough. I told myself this is what they needed and that they would find their way. So, I tried to be positive, affirming them even when they expressed worry, and busied myself with the excitement of researching dorm life must-haves.
I was also blessed to have a couple of other moms from my children’s high school lamenting the same, and we agreed to band together and support one another. One of them named us the “Bird Launchers.” We decided to meet once a month and do something fun for us. After all, when you’re a parent, sometimes you lose yourself in the busyness of working full-time, driving them to or watching their events, and trying to keep things together for the family.
There are only three of us, but I’ve found such joy, understanding, and gratitude for our shared yet unique experiences. Each of us is the parent of two children. When our oldest went to college, it was difficult, and tears were shed, but when we pulled into the driveway after moving them in, we still had a younger child at home. We still went to sporting events, plays, and band concerts. We still had someone to yell at for walking past the mound of stuff at the bottom of the steps and someone to hug. But when the youngest moved into the dorm and we pulled into the driveway at home, it was just us and we needed to create a new normal.
Our Bird Launcher group has become a safe space where we can share ideas about how we encourage our kids to be confident, self-sufficient, and problem-solvers without judgment. Sometimes we laugh, and sometimes we laugh through the tears. Each time I leave our gathering, I feel heard, understood, and supported.
So, I encourage you to call one or two people in a similar situation with an upcoming or already empty nest and get together every so often to support one another—and have fun while you’re at it. We have attended a cooking class, brunch, gone to a local farmer’s market, and decorated cookies before the holidays. A year later, we still get together once a month to share our successes and challenges, and it’s been amazing food for this momma’s soul.