From Uncertainty to Confidence: The Journey of a Hope College Junior

Sometimes it feels like freshman year we are dropped off to college and left stranded to figure it all out. There is a sensory overload of new things to see, do, learn and experience. Everything is brand new, from the food at the dining hall to figuring out a future career. If this isn’t the case for everyone, it was the case for me. I am the first child in my household to attend college; although my parents both attended university, their experiences were different from the path I am taking. Being the oldest daughter of a six-kid family holds great responsibility. I am supposed to be a role model for the brothers and sisters who are younger than me, as well as create my future. I am beyond grateful for the Hope College experience. The campus has so much to offer and so many opportunities I have been able to take advantage of.

Returning to my freshman year, Dr. Ellen Awad was my freshman-year advisor and my first-year seminar (FYS) professor. Each new student is enrolled in an FYS course and that professor is also the advisor who helps them transition into college and assists in navigating their future. Presently, I still use my first-year advisor as a resource. I have formed a relationship with her, and I am comfortable going to her with the many questions that I have. My advisor was the first of many people to get involved with my future.

As students advance in their college careers and declare a major, we are assigned a new advisor from that specific department. I am on track to declare a business major with a minor in communication and I will have the opportunity to speak with advisors in both departments. The thing about Hope is everyone is willing to help. I have had many conversations with staff members as I was debating between majors, deciding where to study abroad and considering what activities to get involved with on campus.

I am a member of Residential Life on campus, as a returning residential assistant (RA) to Kollen Hall this year. I have lived in Kollen Hall for all three years of my college experience. During freshman year I was a resident, then sophomore year as an RA and as a junior I am the first semester RA on the first floor. Being an RA is one of my favorite opportunities I have had at Hope College. I have fostered my leadership skills and developed greater respect and patience for the residents around me. Residential Life has grown my network of professionals on campus. I have worked with DAR, Dining, Res Life pro staff, Student Life and Campus Safety. This higher-level network has introduced me to professionals who inspire me in my career aspirations as well as support me in my college journey. I encourage everyone who is interested to apply for Residential Life. The experience is beneficial at a personal level as well as a professional level.

Currently, I am a junior, declaring to be a business major with a communication minor. I am in the position of researching internship opportunities and filling out countless applications. The task of acquiring the right internship that will provide helpful experience for a future career is daunting. Hope has several events and resources on campus that students are invited to participate in. Throughout the year there are internship presentations, alumni panels and speakers who are invited to campus to educate students on opportunities at their firms, as well as provide advice that applies to their field. Also, each semester there is a Career Fair that gives students exposure to top companies that provide information about career opportunities and resumes for future interviews. There is no shortage of events happening on campus. Each department is intentional about exposing students to future opportunities.

Hope College is truly one of my favorite places to be. Aside from the beautiful campus and the welcoming environment, I have been encouraged to grow as a student. Looking back on who I was as a freshman, to who I am now as a junior, I have been exposed to professionals, internship opportunities and careers. I have changed my perspective from uncertainty to confidence because of the support system at Hope College. For the students who feel like they don’t know where to go next, everything will be fine. I was in that same position years ago. All you have to do is start; start the conversation with your advisor, a professor or your RA. The network at Hope is committed to helping students navigate their challenging futures. Embrace the space that you are in. It might not seem easy, but like me and other students around me, you will grow and excel in your future.

Meet the Moore Family

I once heard that the goal of a parent is to work yourself out of a job. While we will always be parents and they will always be our children, it is natural and right for our kids to gain independence so we are not needed in the same way we once were. At the time this advice was given to me, my kids were little and the thought of my children not needing me was both incredibly sad and a seemingly very distant reality. But as they do, the years flew by, and now we have not one student at Hope College but two! Our daughter, Molly, is a junior elementary education major and Elliana is a freshman exploring her future path. Our son, Charlie, is a high school sophomore, so we are just a few years away from the empty nest life. While l once dreaded letting them go, I have found over the years that one of my greatest joys is watching them live out what God has planned for them…outside of me.

One of our first big letting-go moments was dropping Molly off at Hope as a freshman. Hope is a 10-hour drive from our home in Kansas City, so this was no small thing. Especially since, during her junior year of high school, Molly struggled with some pretty intense anxiety, and we wondered how it would go when it was time to go away to college. Molly questioned her decision for a moment when it was time for us to drive away, and there were ups and downs in that first year, but she came home in May with an amazing community that she couldn’t wait to get back to.

If we thought going to school in Michigan was a big step, God was about to show us just how much we could trust Him. During the Spring 2024 semester, Molly decided to study abroad and was in Athens, Greece for four months! Thankfully, we were already used to Facetime and text as our means of communication, so while it mostly didn’t feel all that different to us, there was still the knowledge that she was in another country on the other side of the world. Yet, in ways large and small, God was faithful. She had two lovely housemates, a supportive program staff and the confidence and experience of three semesters at Hope under her belt. Not only did she survive, she thrived – volunteering at an after-school program helping students learn English (and they helped her learn Greek!); planning and taking trips to Switzerland, Austria, Germany, and a few other Greek destinations; finding a church she felt at home in in a country that was primarily Greek Orthodox; and so much more.

To be sure, she had some hiccups along the way (missing some transportation connections, figuring out a new phone plan, BED BUGS!!), but we found she had to deal with most of these issues while we were sound asleep due to the time difference. And she rose to the occasion! Instead of asking, “What do I do?” she often just told us what she did, and we affirmed her decisions. And then we had the opportunity to meet up with Molly in Athens in May as she was wrapping up her studies there. Our first realization as we walked off the plane—everything was in Greek! Ha! Looking around at the myriad signs in a completely foreign alphabet, we quickly realized we did not give Molly enough credit for her bravery in choosing to live in another country…while at the same time we were grateful for the support she had with her study abroad program and new friends.

We had an amazing European adventure in Greece and Italy as a family, but one of our favorite parts was watching Molly’s confidence and independence as she led us around. She introduced us to the wonderful owners of a local coffeeshop whom she had gotten to know. She taught us how to validate our tickets on public transportation. She navigated the crowds and restaurants and streets. Eric and I had worked ourselves out of a job, even if it was just for a moment. And that was really cool to see. I think we all know that we never stop needing our parents on some level, but watching my kids gain independence has been one of my best parenting surprises!

The First Semester


We’ve all heard the term “helicopter parent,” and none of us want to think we are one but sometimes our well-intentioned advice or involvement can prevent kids from problem-solving. After all, raising good, kind, and self-sufficient humans is what we signed up for, right? Here are some helpful tips and tricks that we try to employ.


Communication
It’s tempting to call or text multiple times a day for the little things as if they were still home. But they’re not. Let them lead and respect what works for them.

  • Make a plan: Before they leave, decide how often you will catch up and let them initiate contact.
  • Be flexible: Maybe there’s so much going on that they need to talk less, or things are rougher than they expected, and they need to talk more. Be there, but on their terms.
  • Seek to understand: Sometimes they just need someone to listen while they vent and other times they want advice. Ask which is most helpful for them in that instance and follow through.


Before you know it, you’ll get into a routine that works for both of you.

Decision Making
The first few days, weeks, and months will be stressful. Some kids have been making decisions for years but will doubt themselves when away from home. Others may not have had to make many decisions and are feeling overwhelmed. Either way, you may get a lot of, “Mom/Dad, _ happened, what should I do?!”

The following prompts are some to have in mind to encourage them to think and problem-solve:

  • What do you think you should do?
  • Where do you think you should start?
  • What do you want the outcome to be? What could be a few steps to get there?
  • Who could you ask for help?
  • What are the pros and cons of each?
  • What will happen if you do nothing?

Pretty soon, they’ll be hearing these questions in their head and problem-solving or feeling more confident that they’ve thought through their problem effectively.


Coming Home
Goodbyes never get easier. While it’s tempting to have them come home early and often, encourage your child to stay on campus for at least the first 4-6 weeks. Being there on weekends has the following advantages:

  • Rest: College is mentally, physically, and emotionally challenging, especially at first. Sleep is an amazing healer and offers clarity of mind to handle it all.
  • Homework: Catch up on homework or work ahead if the class allows.
  • Exploration: Explore off-campus happenings in Holland or nearby towns.
  • Socializing: Meet people outside of their classes by hanging out at events, worship services, or the student center.


Driving to and from campus, regardless of how far, can be stressful and breaks up the routine they’ve worked hard to establish during the week. If they know they’ll be there through the weekends, they’ll have more incentive to find things to do, people to meet, or places to explore.

Be honest with your kids—the first semester will be rough. Regardless of how extroverted or smart they are or how easy it has been for them to make friends in the past, they need to know it’s okay to take it one day at a time and that everyone else is in the same situation. We’ve suggested to ours to give themselves and others grace, to be kind, to have an open mind, and to pray. It will work out.


And if it’s feeling too heavy, seek help. Hope College offers a variety of mental health support services, including talking to an RA, Advisor, or Health Services. They are there to help, and reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness.

Letting Go: One Mom’s Perspective

The Kaptur family, after Hope Convocation in 2023

I tried to prepare myself for the inevitable. This had been the plan since they were born, right? I knew they needed to live away from home to succeed, to fail, and to trust themselves in a safe environment. So why was this so difficult? Plain and simple, I loved the young adults my kids had become, and I knew that first semester of college would be rough. I told myself this is what they needed and that they would find their way. So, I tried to be positive, affirming them even when they expressed worry, and busied myself with the excitement of researching dorm life must-haves.

I was also blessed to have a couple of other moms from my children’s high school lamenting the same, and we agreed to band together and support one another. One of them named us the “Bird Launchers.” We decided to meet once a month and do something fun for us. After all, when you’re a parent, sometimes you lose yourself in the busyness of working full-time, driving them to or watching their events, and trying to keep things together for the family.

There are only three of us, but I’ve found such joy, understanding, and gratitude for our shared yet unique experiences. Each of us is the parent of two children. When our oldest went to college, it was difficult, and tears were shed, but when we pulled into the driveway after moving them in, we still had a younger child at home. We still went to sporting events, plays, and band concerts. We still had someone to yell at for walking past the mound of stuff at the bottom of the steps and someone to hug. But when the youngest moved into the dorm and we pulled into the driveway at home, it was just us and we needed to create a new normal.

Our Bird Launcher group has become a safe space where we can share ideas about how we encourage our kids to be confident, self-sufficient, and problem-solvers without judgment. Sometimes we laugh, and sometimes we laugh through the tears. Each time I leave our gathering, I feel heard, understood, and supported.

So, I encourage you to call one or two people in a similar situation with an upcoming or already empty nest and get together every so often to support one another—and have fun while you’re at it. We have attended a cooking class, brunch, gone to a local farmer’s market, and decorated cookies before the holidays. A year later, we still get together once a month to share our successes and challenges, and it’s been amazing food for this momma’s soul.

Helping Third Culture Kids and Their Families Belong

When growing up with multiple cultural influences, the seemingly simple question—Where are you from?—becomes complicated. If your passport country is the United States, but you have never lived there, do you feel American? Or, if your passport is from the United States but you’ve lived most of your life in Thailand, do you feel Thai?

Third Culture Kids (TCKs) have a mixed identity that is influenced both by their parents’ culture and the culture in which they are raised. Often, they feel pulled between two cultures.

“Moving to Hope as a TCK was confusing and hard, and I felt insecure,” said Mikella Bryant ’12 Van Dyke, who is an American who grew up in Thailand. “But Hope was a very warm and welcoming environment and everyone was very sweet.”

In an effort to address the unique needs of TCKs, international students and their families, Hope College has designed an International Family Orientation (IFO) program. We realize that these students and their families face challenges in their transition to college that domestic families don’t face. And, we want to help them feel like they belong.

“Third culture kids have the worst of both worlds—often excluded from the international crowd because they’re American, but not experiencing any of those American customs like learning how to drive a car, a sweet 16 party, graduation open houses, proms and the list goes on,” said Eric Frederick, a current parent of a TCK at Hope.

“My biggest fear, that they would be plopped down on their own and be told to ‘figure it out themselves,’ was allayed because of the time I spent at IFO,” he added. “I met the administrators who became surrogate parents. I met the amazing kids my daughter would become friends with. And I met their parents, creating a circle that allowed us to support our children and each other from continents away.”

Hope’s one-of-a-kind orientation program helps international families become better acquainted with campus and the experiences their students will have during their time here. Our goal is to familiarize them with the corner of the world we call home—Holland, Mich.

I am currently raising TCKs as my family of origin is American and I married an Israeli husband, whose family lives in Israel. It’s interesting to watch my kids (ages 3 and 7) lean more toward the American in them or the Israeli in them depending on the situation.

Sometimes, they use English as if it’s their second language and speak in Hebrew because they’ve grown up hearing both languages in our home. Other times, they tell me they can’t walk a few blocks to our destination and must be inside air conditioning on a hot summer day—a typically American viewpoint. One of our parenting goals is to teach our children about both American and Israeli cultures in hopes of expanding their worldview.
Having a broad worldview is important. My favorite part of our mission statement at Hope College is: to educate students for lives of leadership and service in a global society. Because of my experiences living and working abroad, creating a multicultural family, and becoming trilingual, my heart is overjoyed to be a part of bringing this mission statement to reality at Hope as an IFO coordinator.

I know that all the partners on campus who are involved with IFO are making an impact by broadening the worldview of the entire Hope community and easing the transition of TCKs to their new campus culture.

“Moving to a new country can be a hard adjustment, especially if that new country happens to be your passport/birth culture,” said Mahleija Tanner ’25, an American who lived in Azerbaijan and Spain. “But living at Hope College helped me find a community of other international/TCK students who understood the crazy I was experiencing, and nearly any craziness is manageable as long as you’re not alone.”

Cushioning Culture Shock Through International Family Orientation

As someone who has lived and worked in countries outside of the U.S., I have firsthand knowledge of what culture shock can feel like. It’s difficult to understand unless you’ve experienced it.

Culture shock is defined as “the feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life or set of attitudes.” There are mixed emotions, such as grief for your former home and joy for your new home, as well as exhaustion from learning your new normal and excitement from something new every day.

When international students and third culture kids (TCKs) — those who assume a mixed identity influenced both by their parents’ culture and the culture in which they are raised — and their family members come to Hope College, some may have never even visited the United States. Some are coming from their home country and culture, and some are coming in as TCKs, which adds another layer of complexity to this transition.

Upon moving to another country, there are so many details to take care of that many domestic students and their families already have in place, such as banking, cell phone services, and even things like knowledge of “big box” stores and their products.

At Hope College, we recognize the unique needs of non-domestic students and their families. We have created International Family Orientation (IFO), a program designed specifically for the family members of international students and TCKs to ease their transition to college life at Hope.

The goal is for family members to become more acquainted with Hope College and the experiences their students will have during their time on campus. We want to familiarize them with the corner of the world we call home—Holland, Mich.

Over the course of several days together, we host informational sessions with translators, take in the local sites, sample local food and culture, and form lifelong friendships in the process. We also give plenty of time for family members to ask questions and receive assistance with the practical matters of getting their student settled on campus.

This program is under the leadership of our Family Engagement team, and I couldn’t be more proud to see Hope College recognize the fact that non-U.S. based families need different programming than domestic families.

Part of our mission at Hope is to equip students for lives of leadership and service in our global society. This program is a direct reflection of the importance that we place on diversifying our campus community and connections. Through IFO programming, we communicate how much we value our non-domestic students and how important it is for us to build a strong relationship with their families, even if they live halfway across the globe.

International Connections – Expanding Worldviews and Creating Lifelong Memories

When I think of International Family Orientation (IFO), my face lights up. I have the joy of meeting people from all over the world and helping them set their child up for success in America. This unique orientation eases the transition for the families of third culture kids (TCKs) — those who assume a mixed identity influenced both by their parents’ culture and the culture in which they are raised — and international students as their freshmen join the Hope College campus community for the first time.

During the program, one of our goals is to create familiarity for the family members with Holland, Mich., and the surrounding area. When the student shares stories of their campus life with family back home, the family members can feel a bit more connected by having been to some of the places that the student is mentioning.

To a domestic student or their family members, that may feel like a small thing; but with thousands of miles between your home and your home-away-from home — along with language, faith and cultural differences — every little bit of familiarity helps.

I started coordinating and participating in IFO in 2020 during the COVID-19 pandemic. What a year to begin! I collaborated with colleagues to create a virtual informational orientation, which was very helpful to family members but lacked the personal touch to form relationships.

In 2021, I was able to put together an in-person program and coined IFO as “the best time of the year!” During the programming, we laughed together, cried together and created memories that will last a lifetime. The relationships formed amongst the families and Hope staff bonded us for years to come.

Three years later, I am still in touch with family members that I met in 2021 and the following years. Since I am one of a handful of staff members that the family members know, I make a conscious effort to maintain ongoing communication with them.

I know firsthand how hard it is to be thousands of miles away from family as someone who has lived abroad and away from my nuclear family for 3 ½ years. Acts of kindness that may seem small actually mean quite a bit.

For example, when I spot an international student on campus whom I know through orientation, I try to take that extra moment to say “hi.” Sometimes, I even take a photo of myself with the student and send it to their family members. I also let the family know if their student is in a class that I am guest teaching. To answer any questions or calm fears about happenings or ever-changing Michigan weather, I’m always responding to texts in our Whatsapp group, too.

I value the diversity that the students and their families bring to our Hope College community. International students and TCKs come to Hope for an exceptional educational experience, but our campus receives much more in return. The domestic students, staff and faculty have the unique opportunity to learn from them and to expand their worldview.

International students and TCKs help us fulfill our mission at Hope — preparing students for lives of leadership and service in a global society. What an invaluable gift it is to spend four years with students from all over the world.

International Family Orientation and Hockey Connections

An idea hatched by parents from Sweden during an orientation outing scored big with the Flying Dutchmen’s hockey team, resulting in an international trip and several national championships.

Parents Krister and Christina Werner of Sweden joined many other families during Hope’s International Family Orientation (IFO)—a program that addresses the special needs of third culture and international families transitioning their freshmen to Hope’s campus and exposes them to life in the Midwest.

During the activity, the Werners dreamed about how wonderful it would be to host Hope College’s hockey team in their home country of Sweden. Their freshman son, Philip Werner ’20, was getting settled on campus and planned to play hockey for the Flying Dutchmen.

In fact, they thought the team should also make a stop in the Czech Republic, an idea stemming from connections with another Hope hockey player from there who had played at an academy with their son.

The only obstacle would be securing the funding, because Hope’s hockey team is a club sport. Thanks to a generous seed gift from one hockey family, others were inspired to make financial contributions. Soon, full funding was in hand.

During the summer of 2017, the 24-member hockey team and three coaches traveled to Europe, where they competed against the White Tigers of Liberec Czech Republic and Wings Hockey of Uppsala, Sweden.

The Werners warmly welcomed the team. Krister taught the student-athletes lessons in Swedish history and culture, and they experienced Stockholm’s heritage firsthand with a tour of the Nobel Prize Museum and a visit to the Royal Palace.

The team not only toured the capital, but also served those in need. Volunteering at a Ronald McDonald House for families of children with special medical needs, the student-athletes baked cinnamon rolls, sanitized the playroom and made greatly appreciated improvements to the grounds and building.

“These student-athletes exemplify our Hope college mission: living lives of leadership and service in a global society,” said Jim VanHeest, an International Family Orientation program organizer. “The connections we make with families during orientation are invaluable for our entire campus community. The ripple effect is extraordinary.”

The trip to Europe, hockey training and competition against Division I and National Hockey League players, along with team bonding, eventually helped the Flying Dutchmen capture the national title in 2018. The team went on to win two other back-to-back national championships in 2020-21 and 2021-22.

International Family Orientation | New Connections for Hope College Students and Families

A casual boat ride on Lake Michigan during International Family Orientation stirred up a tidal wave of connections for Hope College students.

Dann and Que-Lan Engels, who have close ties as Hope parents, extended hospitality to international families during orientation by inviting them for a ride on their boat to explore Lake Macatawa and take in a famous Lake Michigan sunset.

As they introduced their international guests to Michigan’s water wonderland, the Engelses especially connected with Tuan Trinh. He had traveled from Vietnam with his daughter, Anh Trinh ’18, to settle her at Hope for her freshman year.

Dann and Que-Lan, with her Vietnamese heritage, especially connected with Trinh. The couple assured the devoted dad that they would look after his daughter when he returned to Vietnam, where he works for the United Nations in Hanoi.

As time passed, the connection between the Engels and Trinh families grew, along with Trinh’s relationship to Hope College. Eventually, Trinh helped a Hope classics major set up a study abroad stint in Vietnam.

The study abroad connection led to Trinh inviting then Dean of Social Sciences Scott VanderStoep and history professor Fred Johnson to Vietnam. During their visit, they discussed the creation of a May Term in Vietnam for Hope students. Trinh’s association with the United Nations paved the way for various groups of students to travel to Vietnam for enriching cultural and educational experiences during their May terms. As an added benefit, local Vietnamese students also learned more about Hope College.

Several trips followed, where Hope students and other campus leaders participated in regional events, meeting with prospective students and college recruiters. During these opportunities for engagement, parents who had participated in IFO and their students shared about their Hope College experiences, answering many questions and sharing about what life is like in Southwest Michigan.

During the 2023-24 school year, five students from Vietnam were enrolled at Hope.

“It’s been a thrill ride to see these connections and the far-reaching impact of International Family Orientation,” enthused Jim VanHeest, a program organizer. “I could go on and on about the wonderful benefits to the students, their families and Hope College.”

International Family Orientation | Honduras Connections

Families from Honduras who met during Hope’s International Family Orientation (IFO) have turned into some of the most prolific recruiters.

Before classes begin each fall, Hope offers IFO, a unique program for families of third culture kids and international students to support them while their freshmen get settled on campus.

“They are sending their students thousands of miles away from home,” said Zoe Abadi, an orientation program coordinator. “We want them to learn all about life in Michigan and what it will be like for their students on campus.”

“After spending a week together, the families often develop lifelong friendships with each other,” added Abadi, who stays in touch with parents long after orientation. “When they see how much Hope cares about them, they form a special bond with Hope, too.”

This is exactly what happened for parents Wilmer Miralda and Ivonne Nasser of Honduras, who attended IFO activities when they dropped off their son Jean Luc Miralda ’17 at Hope. The parents were so enthusiastic about their welcome that they invited welcome orientation organizer Jim VanHeest to Honduras. He enthusiastically responded with a visit in 2019.

While there, Miralda and Nasser, along with other former orientation families, hosted the first ever Hope College regional event in Tegucigalpa, the capital of Honduras. The families invited prospective students to the event so that they could learn more about Hope from VanHeest and others connected to the college.

“The parents gave testimony about Hope, sharing with emotion how much it meant for them to experience family orientation,” VanHeest said. “They conveyed a strong sense of comfort in sending their students to our campus.”

This gathering resulted in additional Honduran students enrolling at Hope College. In fact, the relationship was so fruitful that the families invited VanHeest back the following year. This time they had many prospective students ready and waiting to hear about Hope College. They also arranged for VanHeest to tour local high schools and meet with guidance counselors.

Eight students from Honduras were enrolled at Hope College during the 2023-24 academic year with another five expected to arrive as freshman on campus in fall 2024. Honduras now sends more international students to Hope than any other country.

“You never know what kind of relationships will develop because of orientation,” VanHeest said. “It’s exciting to see where these relationships lead.”