Life at Hope College

Arguing Makes for Better Friends

This week is probably the last warm week of the year. 60s and sunny, leaves cover the Pine Grove, and students cover the leaves. I spent all Tuesday afternoon sitting on blankets with friends. We had great conversations and laughed at each other’s jokes.

But tension rose when the conversation poked at controversy.

I have a different opinion on homosexuality than one specific friend of mine, and I learned that he was just as passionate about the topic as I was. I was expecting a debate, or a heated argument, or mutual frustration at the end of the conversation.

We discussed the Bible, biology, and philosophy. We told our stories and the stories of our friends. We disagreed, and sometimes cut each other short to ask questions or challenge ideas. We engaged with each other and didn’t quit in the face of awkwardness.

In the end, though we disagreed, we both conceded that the Church should do a better job of including the LGBTQ community. In the end, though we disagreed, we were still friends.

There isn’t a more grace-filled type of friendship than that of two people who disagree. We still respect and care about each other, and we understand each other a little more. A little conflict keeps things fresh.

“Do I not destroy my enemies when I make friends of them?”
—Abraham Lincoln

Students enjoying the last few days of warm weather.
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