Getting Grey Hair in a Trader Joe’s/Whole Foods Line

When I’m old and grey, spending way too much time thinking about the past, this one young human will ask me…

“What is one of your biggest regrets?”

I’ll look away with glassy eyes and say, “son, that’d be spending my half of my youth in the Trader Joe’s lines after work.”

It is true, especially on Tuesdays I find myself in a line that is longer than a food line at a music festival. For some reason I have this belief that people of Washington would want to go to their homes after a very long day at work, but so far, that theory has been proved wrong.

NYC is a city that doesn’t sleep, but neither does D.C. If anything, it just takes naps. What do I do in this place? Glad you asked.

Here is what my day looks like as an intern:

7:47 a.m. – First alarm goes off.

7:55 a.m. – Second alarm goes off.

8:01 a.m. – Third alarm goes off. I put my headphones in and blast Blondfire and check Twitter for news.

8:05 a.m. – Go to the kitchen to turn on the coffeemaker, nibble on grapes and decide on what to wear.

8:10 a.m. – Wonder why on earth I decided that it’d be a good idea to wear a skirt in 40-degree weather. Wait for the coffee to be ready.

8:15 a.m. – Throw everything in the purse, take screenshots of important articles so I can read them on the metro, brush teeth and put on makeup. Start walking to the metro around 8:18.

8:25 a.m. – Catch the metro from Crystal City stop.

8:40 a.m. – Get off at Penn Quarter and start walking back to Maryland Ave.

8:47 a.m. – Sit on a bench for a second to drink half of the coffee because there is no way I can walk rest of the way without some caffeine.

8:50 a.m. – Walk in to the LBJ building wondering why all these people wait to take off their laptops until last minute or why do they leave their badges in the bottom of their purses when it’s clear that they’ll need those every morning.

8:53 a.m. – Take the stairs up to the office.

8:55 a.m. – Rest on the third floor. Drink more coffee.

8:58 a.m. – Put down the coat and purse, try to log into the computer.

9:12 a.m. – After three failed attempts call the IT desk to unlock the laptop for you.

9:37 a.m. – Be on hold with IT.

9:44 a.m. – Check email, confirm every meeting invitation in the inbox.

10:15 a.m. – Get more coffee from the break room. Come back to a pile of papers that needs be looked through.

10:22 a.m. – Have a mild existential crisis while eating the packed lunch and looking through the messages from last night.

10:27 a.m. – Edit, edit, edit.

12:45 p.m. – Look away from the computer for a second and realize that I have 2 missed calls and a bizillion texts that are mostly about some funny meme on Twitter.

1:52 p.m. – Check the Post and BBC to see if anything exciting is going on.

2:01 p.m. – Check with Nancy whose office is right across from mine.

2:04 p.m. – Edit, edit, edit.

3:20 p.m. – Get mad at myself for eating the lunch early.

4:00 p.m. – Handle the stuff that fell under the category “duties as assigned.”

4:17 p.m. – Mingle with other interns. (Meaning I stop by at other interns’ office area to see what’s going on and talk about how much we hate the metro system in DC.)

4:35 p.m. – Walk to Penn Quarter to get more food. Probably get pastries from Paul.

4:50 p.m. – Edit, edit, edit.

5:55 p.m. – Start thinking about leaving.

6:00 p.m. – Start packing.

6:10 p.m. – Call Max on the way to the metro, which I usually take from Mt. Vernon Square, because I like walking.

6:45 p.m. – Lose track of time and space and end up Foggy Bottom/Georgetown area.

6:55 p.m. – Go to Whole Foods, get a pound of cookies.

7:20 p.m. – After finish eating the cookies, walk back to Mt. Vernon Square.

8:05 p.m. – Take the metro back home.

8:16 p.m. – Call Kaleigh or Alicia, tell them life sucks without them being there to help you with the cookies.

8:33 p.m. – Read the news.

9:00 p.m. – Shower, make brownies for the next morning.

9:47 p.m. – Eat half the brownies.

10:05 p.m. – Google “arteries and eating habits.”

10:17 p.m. – Work on the research paper.

11:20 p.m. – Have a fit about ESSA.

11:45 p.m. – Make lunch for tomorrow which is probably just Harissa, lettuce, and quinoa.

12:07 a.m. – Brush teeth. Check the news. Go to bed.

12:42 a.m. – Have a nightmare about not having a job, or not having anything to do.

12:56 a.m. – Have the second round of existential crisis.

1:14 a.m. – Go to kitchen to eat ice cream, but nibble on brownies instead.

1:45 a.m. – Brush teeth, check BBC for the last time. Go back to bed.


Published by Idil Ozer

Senior at Hope. International Studies major, Political Science minor. The Anchor, World News Co-editor. Blogger for the Odyssey and Thought Catalog. Feeds on news, politics and donuts.

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