Unfortunately I happen to be very particular about how I like my food. For example, instead of having peanut butter ice cream, I go for vanilla ice cream with toppings of a large scoop of JIF peanut butter, chocolate sprinkles and banana slices. With pancakes, I put equal amount of chocolate chips in every pancake (15 on average) and equal amount of pb in between the layers. Not to mention my pepperoni OCD; I make sure every pizza slice has equal amount of pepperoni. Hence I look like this when I make an attempt to work out:
Now this eating habit is a retirement gift from my sport, swimming. Even though I can’t swim or exercise like an athlete anymore, I still eat like one… If Sumo Wrestling counts as an athletic sport. As I am perfectly happy with this eating routine, I got some comments from my friends who seem to be concerned about my future diabetes condition and clogged arteries. So with a small push and tons of encouragement, I started going to the Dow to walk on the treadmill. It is not as awesome as swimming, but it still clears my mind from the daily stuff, therefore I found myself going there almost every night, walking for 20-30 minutes. After a few times I went there I started to realize a trend between groups of people and managed to categorize them under 5 titles:
1. Lululemon People
Guy or girl, these people make you feel like you are at a fat camp. They usually do cardio right next to you and run at 6.5 speed and make it look like they are just strolling down the park. If it’s a girl, she probably has a lot of make up on and if it is a guy, he must be wearing very specific clothing according to that day’s work out plan, making sure everyone can see his 8- pack or whatever. Neither of these people shed a drop of sweat or look like they are tired. The girls wear matching outfits, usually Nike brand. If you are lucky, they won’t be wearing shorts so you don’t regret the nachos you had for lunch immensely. Bikini season is a year-round form for them, because unlike you, after the work out they make a salad instead of going to Wendy’s.
2. Revenge People
They are the ones who are there for revenge or reveal some anger. You can find them running on the treadmill at 6.2 for a whole hour, not caring how they look like even though their faces look really scary; borderline Shinning Jack Nicholson scary. There is a chance they are also athletes who are not doing so well this season, if so, we can excuse their rage. According to these people, anger is their fuel and revenge is their motivation. Usually they don’t get out until they nail down 2 hours of work out. The guys are usually the ones who turn the first floor of the Dow into a man cave.
These people usually run for 2 miles, then lift 2 things and call it a full day of work out. There is a great chance that you can find them at a fast food restaurant or Kletz after the Dow session, as they are eating their “well deserved” greasy meal. Their work out clothes are leggings and some random t-shirt that doesn’t match with anything. They almost look frustrated that they are there.
They are your average 60+ people who are in better shape than you are. Every time you see these people you feel kind of inadequate and almost a little confused about how is it that that lady who’s at least 70 can bench 30 pounds when you are stuck with 10 pounds. Unbelievable. These people make you feel like you need to buy a cat, start knitting and possibly purchase a rocking chair immediately.
It’s either a Kindle, a laptop, or even a book – they are the ones who mastered the meaning of multitasking. Work out time is when they catch up on the class readings or their favorite TV shows. They are either at the bike or on the treadmill, not to mention a good majority of them are girls who look like they don’t care about anything right now. They are the Beyoncés of the Dow.
So, which one are you?